Batman & Robin
There are a lot of sore points in the Batman film series from Tim Burton to Nolan to the upcoming Zack Snyder movie that features controversial choice Ben Affleck as the caped crusader. We've been through the works and have suffered plenty whether it be Talia Al Ghul's shoddy death or Tommy Lee Jones' comically over the top performance as Two Face, there isn't a subsection of cinema that has suffered as much as the Bat-fans. But arguably, each movie has had its own charm. Tim Burton brought Michael Keaton to legendary fame with lavish set pieces and formidable villainous characters (plus Michellr Pfiefer in a cat suit). Christopher Nolan definitely made the world of Gotham seem realistic and let Bruce Wayne battle his own soul and integrity as well as a whole heap of enemies, each unnerving and powerful. Heck, even Joel Schumacher's Batman Forever had Jim Carrey as The Riddler who took a somewhat shoddy film and made it genuinely entertaining.
See, each as it's pros and cons that bring us to it constantly.
Except Batman & Robin. Because, man, that film can get fucked.
I feel kind of bad for lamenting about the (date) film because many others have done beforehand. Sure enough, even the main actors have pummelled it like a frayed punching bag with George Clooney, who took up the mask, feeling like he should constantly apologise for the movie. But still, for all its faults and Bat-Nipples, Batman & Robin is worth a watch just to see what happens when everyone gets high on LSD and decides to make a superhero movie.
Batman & Robin sees the duo long after the events of Forever which explains why Bruce Wayne has changed from Val Kilmer to the smouldering looks of Clooney. Batman cant rest for long however as two new comic book villains in the form of venomous Poison Ivy and chilly Mr. Freeze who are threatening to overrun Gotham with ludicrous ploys and really bad puns. On top of that, there is friction within the group as our dynamic duo fall for the same girl and a chirpy relation of Wayne's comes to stay at the manor and threatens their superhero secret. Welp! Can they all come together to stop the forces of evil?
Why is it Bad?
There is literally no sole person to blame here because everyone is pretty awful. From Schumacher's over the top, ultra violet world and crazed direction to the acting so stupidly dire that you can just smell the pay check they are phoning in, Batman & Robin is uncomfortable viewing. But there are bigger culprits that truly make this an abomination of comic book lore. Of course Schumacher and screenwriter take a chunk of that criticism because this is not Gotham. It is a post-eighties, neon-apocalyptic nightmare where all convention cinematic rules such as plot and subtly goes out the window alongside any Bat-credibility.
Clooney and his chin gurn their way through the film, looking as stifled as anything with the whole movie whilst Chris O’Donnell, nawh, he tries. Uma Thurman is clearly having fun romping it up as a villain and Arnold Schwarzenegger is having the fucking time of his live spouting out snow joke after snow joke and Alicia Silverstone is downright dreadful as Batgirl. There is something altogether sickening about their performances because they are all so over the top and falter against one another.
Why is it Good?
Nothing. It’s a bloody train crash. It made whole bunch of obsessive Batman nerds, myself included, wail to their mothers about the abhorrent nature of it all… which is exactly why you have to watch it. Legends like Batman & Robin don’t come around that often. Similarly to Troll 2 and The Room, this are iconic staples of shite movies and, therefore, you have to put yourself through it. It’s an hysterical rollercoaster of “oh my god, why?” moments that are simply unmissable. In a world full of serious heroes and gritty reboots. It’s nice to go back and look at a film where nonsense and campiness roamed the streets of Gotham.
Batman & Robin will always go down in history as one of the worst Batman movies of all time.
And that means you all have to watch it.