Scary Movie Children
Children. Those innocent eyed cherubs that we look at and go “nawh.” It is indeed true that children are the future and the future is going to be adorable. Who doesn’t see an absolute cutie in cinema and go all gooey as their high pitched squealing wraps around lines? Who doesn’t coo as they teach us the meaning of family, love and whatever respective holiday their films inevitably centre around? They bring us back to our youth, remind us of our delightful childhood and help to recapture that spirit we lose in old age.
That is until they crop up in a horror movie with enough terror and fright to put us off ever copulating again. With The Prince Charles Cinema screening The Innocents this weekend, famous for the psychological and supernatural warfare that children play against the illusive Deborah Kerr, we remind ourselves that children are not to be trusted. At all.
Book for The Innocents on 19 January at the PCC here
Regan – The Exorcist
She starts off all innocent, Regan does, in The Exorcist. That is until all hell breaks loose, literally, when she gets possessed by other worldly demons. Played extremely well by a young Linda Blair, The Exorcist is terrifying as the scar-faced and now scaly Regan taunts with a voice deeper than Barry White’s, vomits over priests, contorts in all kind of different shapes and does ungodly things with a crucifix. If that, plus the added atmosphere that makes The Exorcist a legendary horror, doesn’t make you scream in terror. I don’t know what will.
Issac – The Children of the Corn
Based on a Stephen King novel (because King likes his demonic kids), The Children of the Corn stars Linda Hamilton as part of a couple who run over a boy in a rural town. Trying to get help, they soon discover that something more sinister is happening and a cult of youngsters who live out on the fields. They are run by Issac, whose Evangelistic preachings about Satan have warped the minds of those below the age of 21. And if Issac isn’t terrifying enough, there is also Malachi who is brutal and tries to stand up and overthrow Issac. There are mindless killings, sex and brainwashing; and the adults are powerless. Yikes.
Henry Evans – The Good Son
This movie panned so much and was critically lambasted it was deemed as a terrible film for children to watch, fearing the influence over it. Although, whoever was taking their children to psychological thrillers are beyond me. In particular, this one. Why? Because Henry Evans, played by nineties favourite child Macaulay Culkin is so utterly horrible that it is frightening and creepy. He plays Evans a spoiled spawn of rich parents. When his cousin Mark (Elijah Wood) comes to stay, Henry proves just what violent little psychopath he is, willing to kill and murder. The biggest act comes from Henry throwing a dummy into a busy freeway to cause a pile up.
Sadako – Ringu / Samara – The Ring
Here is a film (and remake) that tricked us. You spend the whole time believing that a girl with psychic powers is wrongly persecuted. With no actual reason, she was passed to adoptive parents who kept her in a barn, blaming Sadako/Samara for all the crappy things going on in the house. Her adoptive mother/father (depending on what version) then kills her, throwing the body down a well and committing suicide. And lo and behold, the heroine at the end of the movie sets her free, solving a video tape curse and saving the little girl’s soul. But wait, it turns out Sadako/Samara is actually an evil little girl who wants to kill as many people as inhumanely possible, making an entire generation fearful of the television screens we held so dear.
Damien Thorn – The Omen
Have you ever met a child and gone “he’s the spawn of Satan?” Well, Damien Thorn fromThe Omen is the actual spawn of Satan. When American Diplomat Robert Thorne finds out his wife has given birth to a still born, the Roman hospital that they’re in says that there is a child whose “mother” has passed away and urges the swap. As it turns out, this child is actually the Anti-Christ and no sooner does Thorn adopt him do people start lobbing themselves out of windows, getting impaled and heads sliced off. Let’s not mention the disturbing moment where Damien watches his mother clinging for her life and rides off on his tricycle like the bastard he really is.
So lock your windows and doors, stay away from playgrounds. The evil children are coming. And they are terrifying.