Turner & Hooch
They say that dogs are man's best friend. As a cat person, I agree because as much as I love kitties, I can agree that they are furry psychopathic villains with no remorse. Dogs, however, are the most loveable things in the world. Loyal, trusting, and with literal puppy dog eyes, it's hard not fall in love with their drooling ways.
In cinema, dogs are treated with this kind of love (except Cujo because...well...fuck Cujo). They are undeniably wonderful creatures that follow their owners to the end of the line and most of the time when they snuff it, our hearts break into a million pieces much more so than their human counterparts. Disney are no strangers to this furry phenomenon (furnomenon, if you will) and have tottered out numerous canine based films to get us yapping for more. On that list, for sure, is Turner & Hooch.
Starring Tom Hanks in his post Big, pre-Forrest era, Turner & Hooch revolves around a police investigator who uncovers a murder and the victim’s poor dog as the only witness. Unwillingly adopting the pooch (called Hooch,) Turner finds that he has bitten off more than he can chew with this larger than life pup. As the dog destroys his house, dribbles in his shoes and gets up to all sorts of antics, Turner is dismayed at becoming the unsuspecting owner. It doesn't help that there is a nefarious plot afoot and Hooch (the pooch) is the only eye witness to the perpetrator. Only, can a dog help solve a crime and hunt down whomever is involved in this criminal wasteland? Will Turner be find peace with the loveable dog?
Why is it Bad?
I almost feel bad for attacking this film because this was partly my childhood and it fills me up with glee like Turner's poor shoe is saturated in drool. Yet with an adult critical eye it's clear to see that this is just naff. Especially considering that the similar K9 came out just months before and benefitted from a snarky, deadpan Jim Belushi who does marginally better against the wailing Hanks whose whining gets more annoying as the film goes on. Filled to the brim with Disney schmaltz, this convoluted tail gets seemingly more implausible as Hooch turns barking detective. Not to mention that a lot of the film is spent on the aforementioned wailing as the rogue dog destroys everything he loves. The movie also sandwiches in soppy romance with a wayward vet who turns up randomly throughout the film. Turner & Hooch is just premise and doesn't do much to evolve the "a dog and a detective sniff out crime" element.
Why is the Good?
Well, you do see a lot of young Tom Hanks in pants do that's a plus. Also, Hooch is big eyes and adorable and I'll tell you, there are definitely a few moments where your heart is crushed into millions of pieces. There is enough cuteness here to be sapped into the ruff antics. Plus, for all the wailing that Hanks does, he has never phoned in a performance and up until you want to shove the dog kibble in his mouth, he is an enjoyable lead and so is Hooch, the scruffy dog.
The movie should basically be called "Man Stresses Out over A Dog...Oh! And there's drugs or something." If you are ok with that then this film won't bother you too much. Despite the fact that there is death and criminals, it is ultimately a family film that everyone can enjoy on rainy school holidays. Plus, it's educational too - did you know dogs only see in 2D? Me neither! You learn something new every day.
Basically, Turner & Hooch is all bark and no bite.